Posts Tagged ‘about me’
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Why I Left the Law
“Why did I even start” is probably a better question!
I practiced law for 2.5 years after I graduated and passed the Missouri bar in 2006. I had no idea what I was in for.
Writing a post about why I left the law is tricky. I don’t completely point my finger at the law firm I worked for after I graduated, at myself due to my personal preferences, or at the general malaise of law firm life – I know that my leaving the law was a combination of those things together.
That being said, here’s the gist of why I left, and why I haven’t gone back:
- Lack of work-life balance
I could give concrete examples of my experience to prove how out of whack a lawyer’s work-life balance is. But my specific examples are no different than the majority of lawyers: they have no personal life. Vacation is discouraged and often weekends are spent working. You go into work early and leave late. Yes, you can always take work home, but law firms are very traditional and it is more important to be physically at the office.
In order to be a successful lawyer, it really helps if you are more of the live-to-work type than the work-to-live type. I learned that I was more the latter type. At least, I thought I was when work was something I hated.
The firm I worked for had rather “mild” hours compared to some others. However, the easier hours were perhaps a compensation for the constant pressures to bring in more clients and the billable hour standards.
- Income
This is going to shock a lot of people, but most lawyers don’t get paid what you think they do. I’m not lying – some lawyers ARE paid very well. But a lot of lawyers don’t get paid more than you. My husband, a computer engineer, made much more than I did. Money isn’t everything to me, but spending a lot of time at the office and leaving with the paycheck that I got was not worth it to me. While my bank account sees less money now than it did when I was practicing law, I make more per hour.
- Constant conflict
Being a lawyer is like being a warrior in a suit. Every day, you prepare for battle. I was in court almost every single day. I was in depositions every week. But I hated conflict. I enjoyed settling cases much more than I did arguing with opposing counsel. Often, I faced middle-aged men that seemed to think they could bully me. What they didn’t know was that I couldn’t be bullied, but bickering with them made me start to hate practicing law even more. I noticed that fighting back against bullies was making my life more difficult. But I didn’t have much choice in my position. It’s not news that lawyers are awful. But for some reason it was for me. Nowadays, I feel a little cheeky when I call myself a quick learner…
Not long after I left the law, I took theStrengthsfinder personality test. The test tells you what your strengths are. My first strength was “Harmony.” In other words, I hate conflict. Before I went to law school, I wanted to be a judge. To be a judge, you need to practice law for quite a while. Life lesson: Doing something you hate for 60 hours a week for several years, just for the chance to do something you might like, is a bad idea. In many situations, I am able to advocate for both sides. You would think this makes me a good advocate – instead, it made me see the other side no matter what side I was on. This is a strength, however, in fields other than advocacy.
- Anxiety/Stress
It didn’t take long before I realized there was something incredibly wrong with my career choice. Every night I woke up in the middle of the night, sometimes several times, worried about one of my cases – sometimes it would be a totally random case, or one that had a hearing that day.
As I became more responsible for cases, jury trial dates loomed on my calendar – that meant I would be responsible for trying cases by myself. This is the natural order of things. Some lawyers might complain that they don’t get enough courtroom experience; personally, I would have liked a MUCH longer period of getting my feet wet before I dove in. That’s just how I am.I didn’t talk about my anxiety much though, so it came as a surprise to my family and maybe some of my friends and definitely the firm I worked for. The month leading up to my resignation was one of the worst experiences in my career. I had been trying to “make do” for about a year, when one day I realized that twice that week I had driven home sobbing because I hated my job so much. I realized that I was going to have to leave my job and waiting around longer for things to get better wasn’t an option anymore.
I didn’t wake up one day and decide to leave. I had woken up every day for two and a half of years and decided not to quit that day.It was time to stop making that decision.
Frequently Asked Questions:- Why don’t you be a mediator? A: For the same reason it would be impossible for me to be a judge. This is a position that requires many more years of advocacy experience, and that is not a cost I am willing to pay.
- Why don’t you go into another field of law?A: I was in litigation primarily, so this is a fair question. I got experience in many different practice areas (I am truly grateful for that). To be a non-litigator, or transactional type lawyer, I would have had to start afresh in a new field. This is tough to do at any time. I thought about this while I was in litigation. However, I am not sure I would have enjoyed this either; the practice areas I touched in litigation were the areas that I liked in law school the most. All that said, if the opportunity to engage in transactional law came to me, I would consider it. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard of any opportunities. Perhaps the recruiters have lost my phone number. (That was sarcasm.)
- Are you going to go back and practice?A: No. However, I’m about as sure about that as I was about practicing law in the first place, so I’ve learned to never say never and never say always.
I am currently licensed, active, but not practicing. - What do you do now? A: I’m a technical writer for the IT department of a large St. Louis-based company. I like it because I get to use my writing and logical thinking skills. Also, I think I am a perennial student. This job lets me learn new things – there is always something new for me to learn about technology. It’s another reason I like blogging – I don’t know what the hell I’m doing most of the time. I work full-time, 40 hours a week. The IT field is considerably less stressful than the legal field. That makes for a happy Michelle.
- Why did you go to law school in the first place?A: I guess it started with being on the debate team in high school. I liked abstract thinking, writing, and I wasn’t afraid of public speaking. I had a knack for writing especially, but I never thought I would be able to cut it as a writer. So I thought law was the more bankable option. It was a cop out.
- Isn’t that a lot of time/money/investment to just throw it away?A: I don’t really think this is a question, just a judgment. And if there is a single person out there who hasn’t spent time and/or money on something and not had it work out the way they planned, please, let me know who you are – that should go in the Guinness Book of World Records. Seriously – break ups, divorces, career changes, movie flops, business failures, happen every day. Shit happens. I’m only one of thousands of law school graduates every year who decided that law was a bad idea. Check out JD Underground. Happy lawyers are a minority. It is not my fault that being a lawyer is a total disappointment. I do take responsibility for not knowing better in advance. Live and learn.
- Was your family supportive?A: I am extremely lucky to have an incredibly supportive family. Mark was extremely supportive. Obviously, he knew the most about my daily anguish – my stress came home with me. My parents and other family members were surprised, I think. Sometimes I think people get used to seeing you a certain way, and defining you by your career. That’s especially true with lawyers, doctors, nurses, firefighters, and many other professional specialties. I think it makes people a little bit uncomfortable to define you as something different. The shock just takes a bit to wear off.
- What about law school debt?A: I went to a state law school where I qualified as a resident, however, I still have law school debt. I continue to pay my loans. I do accept charity.
If you have more questions, please ask away!
READ MY FOLLOW UP POST, HOW I LEFT THE LAW. -
Misc.
I started this post earlier this week and forgot to post it. Here we go.
Katie at Legally Fit tagged me with some questions and I’m just getting around to it!
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Growing up a Navy brat probably influences my answer to this question, but I think I could be happy living just about anywhere. I really think that no matter where you are, people are generally the same. I think I would really like Colorado though.
- What has surprised you the most about blogging? That people read the stuff I write.
- What food could you not live without? This is like an extreme version of the favorite food question. I could live without many things but my world would be a little sadder without frozen peas and ice cream.
- You have a Saturday all to yourself. How would you spend it? I would go on a long run by myself, drink coffee, read trashy magazines, and then get bored, screw the day to myself idea and go on a date with Mark.
- What is/was your major in undergrad? Philosophy, Law, and Rhetoric. It was basically a pre-law degree.
- Are you in the field that you thought you would be when you were younger? Not really, but I had several different ideas about what I would “be” when I grew up, including: writer, journalist, interior designer, teacher/professor, judge, lifelong academic.
- How often do you blog? Why? About 3 times a week I think – at least lately. I would like to post more but I’ve been busy and when I’m not busy I can’t think of things to write!
I am three weeks clean of Diet Coke and other artificial sweeteners. Even though I have mixed feelings about it, I’m pretty proud of myself.
This week we are going to Nebraska to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. It’s a 7.5 hour drive but it means we can bring the
and the
What are your plans for Thanksgiving?
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Growing up a Navy brat probably influences my answer to this question, but I think I could be happy living just about anywhere. I really think that no matter where you are, people are generally the same. I think I would really like Colorado though.
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Operation Beautiful again and 10 randoms
I got my Operation Beautiful book today! I was stalking the UPS delivery tracking for the last week and I was so excited that it finally came. Today was also the day that Caitlin, the author, talked about the book on the Today Show (here is the video). I’ve been reading her blog for at least a year. It makes me feel like I almost know her – so I was so excited about her book and moment on national TV.
Anyway, when I got the book today, I knew it would be something I couldn’t put down. I was right. I read the whole thing. What I was not prepared for, is what a tear-jerker it was. There are some really touching stories in there about women and body image problems. Best of all, the book is really inspiring and makes you think. Buy it now.
Katie tagged me to write ten random things about myself.
1. I get overly excited about packages in the mail. (See above.)
2. Long fingernails and toenails really gross me out. I keep mine extremely short.
3. I had my gallbladder removed because of gallstones when I was 11.
4. I don’t like blood – I have no idea how my dad and brother are dentists and deal with blood every day.
5. I sneeze when I step out in the sun or look at a bright light (and sometimes even when it’s cloudy!). It’s genetic (you can read about it here) but no one else in my immediate family does it. I also like to sneeze and think it feels good
6. The best grade I got in law school was Constitutional Law. There’s not a whole lot of things you can do with that, except brag about it on your blog.
7. I held back my class in third grade because I couldn’t figure out long division. Yep, I knew I was in trouble when the teacher said, “We’re not moving on until everyone gets the hang of this.” Writing about this makes me feel like that scene where Chunk from “The Goonies” talks about all the bad things he did in his entire life.
8. No matter how dumb the joke is, I always laugh at fart jokes.
9. I can draw, but I never do it. I like drawing people most of all. We had a nude male model in my art class in college, and the drawings made Mark blush.
10. I read and used Immanuel Kant when I was a freshman in high school for the debate team (nerd alert).
Who else wants to play?
How about:
Holly at Couch Potato Athlete
Angela at The Diet Book Junkie
Matt at The Kitchen of a Runner
?
About Me
My name is Michelle and I like to write about running, food, and fitness in general. Check out my About Michelle section for more!
